Comparison can come in so many different forms, and I’ve found myself identifying all the random ones throughout my life. Generally, when we think of “comparison,” we think of comparing successes or body types. However, it is a little different for me. I would always worry about how people saw me versus how people would see other girls that I respect or look up to. It became overwhelming to the point that I would mimic other girls’ social media and outfits with the mindset that my peers would see me in the same way that they see the person I mimic.
I’ve grown up with the idea that comparison is all about looks. Girls are so good at picking out the things they don’t like about their bodies and assume that other people feel the same negativity toward them. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn’t alone when it came to comparison. Comparison can also be about social hierarchy, family, money, relationships, etc. This is a piece I wrote about two tangible things that helped me get out of a spiraling hole of comparison that hopefully can help you as well!
1. Don’t enable yourself.
I found myself continually going onto other girls’ social media accounts and comparing myself to the way they portray themselves online. This was so unfair to do to me. First of all, the things that I see on their pages aren’t even close to real life. Social media is a highlight reel of what happens in our life. We only post the good stuff and typically don’t want to post what we’re struggling with. If I am struggling behind the cover of my social media, what makes me think that the other girls on Instagram aren’t struggling?
I decided it was time to unfollow all of the accounts that I noticed I was comparing myself to. This meant some of my friends, as much as I didn’t want to admit it. This got me out of the habit of randomly going on to their pages when I felt I wasn’t good enough.
2. Remember what God says about you and how you were made.
This was something I should’ve leaned on more. When I felt like I wasn’t able to live up to the people around me, I didn’t rely on God’s promise of how much He loves me. When God says that we’re made meticulously, He isn’t lying. There’s a reason He tells us that we’re chosen and not forsaken.
When Psalms said that you were “knit together in your mother’s womb,” it means that everyone is created the way that God wants them. Remembering this promise that God makes us is so crucial to life.
As I look at my life now, I’ve been able to reshape my mindset of comparison. When I find myself amid unnecessary comparison, I try to focus on the way I was created in God’s eyes and how God sees me. God sees us as sons and daughters, and each of us was created with our own gifts.
Written By: Tori J