I’ve struggled with comparison ever since I can remember. As a child, one of the words we learn early on is “mine,” and as much as I hate to admit it, the word has stuck with me ever since. Now, you might be tempted to stop reading here because you’ve heard all the comparison talks and practically have them memorized. Still, my goal isn’t just to tell you to stop comparing, it’s terrible, and you’re beautiful. Though these things may be true, I want to dig deeper.
Talking about comparison makes me wiggle from my toes to my head in discomfort because it brings out the worst in me. It causes me to be bitter towards people I was made to love, envy makes its way into my heart. Anger begins to build up as I sulk in self-pity, blaming God for what I don’t like. Comparison kills my joy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who faces comparison; in fact, I’m positive I’m not the only one. I’ve seen it not only steal my joy, take my self-confidence, destroy my hope, but also from the people around me. I’ve come to realize why the game of comparison is so typical among us all. Satan loves this game.
He introduces us to his game of comparison at such an early age, causing us to believe that it’s a harmless game, but its a trap because every time we play, we lose. We lose our gratitude, our self-love, our confidence. We lose our hope, our purpose, and our calling. We ultimately lose ourselves.
The game of comparison is introduced so early on that we don’t even know what we’re losing by playing it. Before we know it, we’ve lost the original person God created us to be.
I find myself often looking at the clothes another girl has, the color of her eyes that I wish I had, the grades I wish I had, the sports I wish I could play, the songs I wish I could sing, and so much more. My eyes look for the desires of the flesh, which tell my heart, “I want it all,” yet these desires of my flesh kill my soul. I’m hoping you’re coming to realize how dangerous this game Satan plays is because I’m tired of losing, and I bet you are too. So let’s talk about how we can win.
Walk away. I’m no sports girl, but from what I’ve seen, walking away in the middle of the game means losing. But in this game it’s different. Walking away from Satan’s game of comparison is a guaranteed win. It’s time that we stop trying to compete against one another, but walk out onto the sidelines and begin running alongside others to cheer them on. The truth is, we can’t have it all, and we don’t need it all. All we have is all we need. Read that again.
Here’s the beautiful thing about God’s creation; we are each given a different calling for the same purpose. Each of us has been designed intricately, with unique gifts and talents to increase the Kingdom of God and let His love be known.
Romans 12:4-6 says, “For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Did you get that? We are all meant to form one body, but we do not all have the same function.
I like to think about it, like building a house. Some people know how to create dimensions and blueprints. Others make the foundations, then people with special work experience in different yet crucial parts of the house come in, including plumbing, electricity, appliances, flooring, windows, and much more. Next, comes the designers who paint, decorate with art pieces, and place furniture in each room. Now, if every worker within each expertise looked and decided his job wasn’t as important, you’re left with blueprints. No foundation, a kitchen top but no flooring, or a house with no roof. Can you see the problem with this? We can’t have it all, nor can we do it all. Every person has to build their part of the house to honor and worship the Lord with what they’ve been given. God has given us different tools and gifts to each of us, and each of us brings glory to him. So if we’re all working to build the same house, towards the same goal, isn’t it better to build each other up than tear one another down?
God has been teaching me the importance of encouraging and celebrating the gifts of what others have given. Why? Because we’re all working to build towards the same house, as one section becomes stronger, our house does too, and the ultimate goal of growing God’s house is reached. But He’s also reminded me that celebrating the gifts of someone doesn’t minimize or disqualify the importance of my gifts. I don’t want you to miss this.
I had to learn to become close with my jealousy and understand it before I could push it away. Getting to find the root message beneath the envy can be challenging.
Why is it so easy to dislike someone beautiful and successful? Why did jealousy creep up when she could do it better? Why did it steal my joy and cause me to wallow in self-pity? To put it simply, I’m insecure. As I watch people succeed, I tell myself I’m failing. If I see a girl who’s pretty, I tell myself it means I’m ugly. If someone is gifted, I tell myself I don’t have anything important to offer.
Once I could understand the messages beneath my feelings, it became easier to realize my feelings were based on lies that weren’t true. Therefore, because the truth is I am gifted and made with a purpose, I could come to celebrate the people around me.
I had to learn to put truth to these voices, meaning that just because someone else has a purpose, doesn’t take away my purpose. Once we can find the truth to these underlying lies, and place our security in Christ, that’s when we can come to celebrate our brothers and sisters and come alongside and build them up. The girl you’re jealous of may be talented, and so are you. She is beautiful, and so are you. She is made with purpose, and so are you. Stop trying to compete. Stop trying to take someone else’s job. Stop trying to trade your tools for different ones that seem better. Stop trying to have it all. Start focussing on how you can use what you’ve been given. Start speaking truth into who you are and who you believe others can be. Start building together instead of against one another. You are made with just as much purpose as the person beside you. Stop telling God, “I want it all” and start saying, “God’s given me all I need.”
Written By: Anna (16)