I am sure some of you can relate, but I have always been a people-pleaser. I grew up in a home where there were many conflicts and I JUST HATED CONFLICT, so I would do whatever it would take to not ruffle any feathers. I literally became a chameleon. I would turn into whoever everyone wanted me to be. It was EXHAUSTING. I honestly could barely speak because I didn’t know who I was, what I believed in, or stood for. I was used to just being whoever everyone else wanted me to be. Then I got saved and realized that I do not need to receive approval from anyone except God. This gave me so much freedom and integrity! Before, I would make so many compromises to be liked, fit in, and be “cool.” This left me in a place that was so far from who I actually am. I found the Lord a couple of years ago, and since then, I have been stripping back all of the layers of who the world told me that I was, and it has been so liberating! I am just finding out who I am and what I like to do. I found out that I LOVE to dance, I hate breaking the rules, and I love to cook (WHO KNEW!!) Also, if you are solid in your integrity, you are less likely to compromise for things outside of who you are and what you believe in.
I realized a couple of things…
- When you put up a mask, no one actually sees your true authentic self, which makes you feel unseen!! That is a really lonely place to be.
- God values me and wants me to wrap my identity around who he says that I am!
- It’s better to be around people who know who you really are rather than a “version” of you that you have created to please them.
Side note: most of those people I made all of those compromises for and I put before God, I no longer even hang out with. Soooo that was a waste of so many compromises that actually really hurt me in the end.
So, I have a straightforward question for you, DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKED BY EVERYONE? This is such an important revelation to figure out as quickly as possible because it will determine the course of your life. It will impact your choices and whether or not you feel confident about being different.
Everyone wants to be liked for who they are. Still, we make modifications to our personality and values based on an obsession with being appreciated or affirmed. Don’t get me wrong, we want to be seen positively, but we want to make sure we make the correct changes and have integrity along the way.